The kids are heading back to school, and just like us, they are going to be excited, anxious, terrified, nervous, sad and happy. Mixed feelings are natural at this time of year, no matter how old your kids are or how many times you’ve been through it all as a parent.
You have some new school-related issues to deal with if you are newly divorced. Who is paying for what? What activities will the child get to be involved in? Who keeps an eye on homework assignments? Who does the school call if there is an emergency?
Get on the same page about routines.
Kids will adjust faster if you’re in agreement about routines. Work out any potential disagreements now such as emergency procedures, meals, pick-up, weather, after-school activities and all the other components of the school week. Write it all down and share the plan with your children. Keep it simple and be consistent.
Meet the new teacher.
Introduce yourself to your child’s new teacher to get off to a good start. Inform him or her about your family circumstances. It will help if your child’s teacher knows the situation. But don’t draw teachers or other school personnel into your personal conflict at home.
Arrange for duplicate notifications.
Although information should always be shared, it helps to arrange for separate, duplicate notifications about academic progress and school activities so one parent is not responsible for copying and sending information to the other.
Coordinate events.
Agree in advance to be civil at school events for your kids’ sake if you both attend. If this is really not possible, coordinate attendance so you don’t cross paths. Most teachers are willing to meet both parents one on one when necessary.
If you are not permitted by court order to be in each other’s physical presence, you will need to take precautions. Inform the school in the event law enforcement needs to be called to intervene. Be sure pickup agreements are on the record, clear and enforced.
School should not be a battleground to establish who is the better parent. Don’t get into competition with your former spouse. Your child is struggling through your divorce while juggling the demands of the new school year. Let school be a place for him or her to have fun, learn, achieve and excel, and forget about the issues at home.
Whether you are considering separation or are already divorced and need to revisit your visitation plan, The Law Office of Steven B. Chroman is ready to help you and your family.
For more information and to schedule your free consultation, please call The Law Offices of Steven B. Chroman, P.C., at 661-255-1800 or visit us at www.chromanlaw.com. Mr. Chroman is a Trusted Advisor Award Winner and named Top 100 California Attorney’s with over 22 years of experience and local service. You can purchase Mr. Chroman’s best-selling Divorce Workbook at: www.amazon.com/Preparing-Divorce.
This article was originally published in Santa Clarita Magazine as part of our firm’s mission to make family law information more accessible to the Santa Clarita community. Read the full feature and others at santaclaritamagazine.com.