During divorce it is common for conversations between spouses to become tense, teary or impossible to manage. Unfortunately, however, communicating with your spouse may be necessary to finalize your divorce, or, if you have children, to continue co-parent together. If you are in a tense situation, use any one, or a combination of these methods for communicating with your spouse.
1. U.S. Mail
PROS: You can say anything to your spouse without seeing or speaking with them him in person.
CONS: Your letter may be used as evidence in your divorce.
TIPS: Never write a letter that if someone else would read it, such as your judge, it would raise an eyebrow or two.
2. Email/Text Messaging
PROS: You can say anything to your spouse whenever you want without seeing or speaking to them in person and they can respond instantaneously.
CONS: You may become obsessed with your email and text messages, checking it constantly for a response, and your messages may be used as evidence in your divorce.
TIPS: Choose your words very carefully and leave emotion, blame and potentially damaging statements out of your message.
3. Telephone
PROS: You can have a dialogue with your spouse and receive immediate feedback.
CONS: You have to speak with your spouse.
TIPS: Keep your conversations business like and be ready and able to say “NO” if necessary.
4. In Person
PROS: You can have a dialogue with your spouse and if you come to an agreement during your discussion, you can put it in writing and your spouse can sign and date the document.
CONS: You have to see and speak with your spouse.
TIPS: Meet in a neutral place and avoid emotional or angry confrontations.
5. Through Your Divorce Lawyer
PROS: Your lawyer can effectively communicate for you and you don’t have to see or speak with your spouse.
CONS: It will take a little longer to communicate to your spouse or opposing counsel.
TIPS: Try not to ask lawyer to communicate with your spouse’s lawyer about matters unrelated specifically to the issues of your divorce. If you must and want some things communicated to your spouse, prepare a list of issues that can be dealt with at once to reduce the number of times your lawyer must call or write letters on your behalf.
For more information and to schedule your free consultation, please call The Law Offices of Steven B. Chroman, P.C., at 661-255-1800 or visit us at www.chromanlaw.com. Mr. Chroman is a Trusted Advisor Award Winner and named Top 100 California Attorney’s with over 20 years of experience and local service.
This article was originally published in Santa Clarita Magazine as part of our firm’s mission to make family law information more accessible to the Santa Clarita community. Read the full feature and others at santaclaritamagazine.com.