According to the court statistics, January is the month when most divorces are filed. This may be because the holidays have passed or that people want a fresh start in the new year. Some couples who have been planning to break up choose to avoid disrupting their families during the holidays. Others may be hopeful that their situation will change, and when nothing does, they opt for dissolution.
Trying to find the right time for such a significant change is always a difficult challenge, and there is not be a perfect moment. If you have tried counseling, communicating, and compromising, you may believe that divorce is the only option.
A dissolution is less traumatic when the children are older and out of the house. If you do have kids, and especially if they are young, a divorce can be very difficult. If you have children, you need to break the news to them gently and slowly. A good place to start is to tell them that the situation is not their fault and that dad and mom will always be there and will always, and in all ways, love them. Some additional reassurance as to how their lives will not change is also highly recommended. Do your best to keep things as normal as possible.
If your child(ren) begin to act out by not doing well in school or by expressing difficulty with the situation, I would advise that you and your children attend counseling with a therapist trained in dissolution matters.. Some children do not show any signs of their inner struggles, and in all cases, you must talk with them about how they are feeling and dealing with the changes.
For the adults involved, divorce will change your life. Make a plan to take care of yourself. Isolation is not your friend, and neither is going out to avoid the situation and the difficulty you will experience. If you do decide to date, go slowly and it is recommended that if young children are involved, not to introduce them to anyone you are dating until the relationship is established.
Whether you’ve chosen or perhaps feel forced to make this huge change in your life, the process is never easy. To make it a little less hurtful, avoid beating yourself up. Going through the process alone and blaming yourself is not very healing. Seek out your friends, family and therapy.
Getting back into the swing of things may take longer than you’d like it to, but if you take small steps and trust that life will go on, the healing process and progression will occur with less difficulty and stress.
For your free consultation at The Law Offices of Steven B. Chroman, please call 661-255-1800 to schedule one today, or visit www.chromanlaw.com for more information. Mr. Chroman is the number one best selling author of The Divorce Workbook on Amazon.com. Download it today to learn more!
This article was originally published in Santa Clarita Magazine as part of our firm’s mission to make family law information more accessible to the Santa Clarita community. Read the full feature and others at santaclaritamagazine.com.